today
Murphy Jordan
i will say this once and only once.
everything that is about to happen, everything that is about to break,
everything that i told you would happen,
i blame you for it.
i fucking told you.
i told you.
and i hate you for this.
and when it affects you,
because it will,
know that you only have yourself to blame.
know that you are a coward.
and i hope it hurts.
i hope you are embarrassed,
by the things that frightened you.
i hope you regret it,
when you see what this does to the people you love.
to the people that loved you.
i am angry with you.
so fucking angry with you.
but what’s more, i’m embarrassed of you.
i’m embarrassed to have loved you.
to have given you my heart, even briefly.
i’m embarrassed that i let a coward handle it.
and break it.
you were a friend.
and this morning i cannot remember why.